Things aren't always
serious around here. Texans are known for good
humor, even when it's about us, so enjoy!
You no longer associate
bridges over rivers with water.
You hear the weather
forecast for 105 degrees without flinching.
You run the house a/c
in the middle of winter, so you can use your
The best parking is
determined by shade ..... not distance.
Sunscreen is sold year
round, it is always kept right at the checkout
When hot air balloons
can't rise because the outside air is hotter
than the air inside the balloon.
You see two trees fighting
over a dog.
1. Never slap a man
(or woman) who's chewin' tobacco.
2. Good judgment comes
from experience, and a lot of that comes from
3. Lettin' the cat outta
the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it
4. If you're ridin'
ahead of the herd, take a look back every
now and then to make sure it's still there.
5. If you get to thinkin'
you're a person of some influence, try orderin'
somebody else's dog around.
6. Never kick a cow
chip on a hot day.
7. There's two theories
to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
8. If you find yourself in a hole, the first
thing to do is stop diggin'.
9. Don't squat with
your spurs on. 10. It don't take a genius
to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
11. Always drink upstream
from the herd.
12. Never miss a good
chance to shut up.
13. There are three
kinds of people: The ones that learn by reading,
The few who learn by observation, and the
rest of them who have to touch the fire to
see for themselves if it's really hot.