Handicapping the IWF (Iraq War
Team Will Win the War in Iraq? Predictions about
Iraq vary as much as those about which team
will win the NBA finals next year.
lot will depend on the "teams", the
strength of their players and their strategy
and how well they've played the game so far.
Lets begin with a look at the final teams in
the Western and Eastern conferences.
Western Conference Teams
Brigadiers: The Brigadiers have a long
and illustrious history, but haven't been
in a playoff like this since the 1960s. This
well trained and skillful team advanced quickly
early on, with lightning attacks, but has
gotten bogged down as the season advanced.
Their players spend too much time playing
defense and not enough on the type of strategies
- rebuilding, civilian leadership, and economics
- needed to advance higher. They are stuck
in the same bracket as the ChickenHawks and
beginning to lose support.
Don't let the name fool you. Despite their
timorous moniker and the relative inexperience
of their coach G.W. , this team wrote the
playbook, appointed the referees, and has
more money than all of the other teams combined.
Despite this, their tactical and strategic
mistakes leave them no better off than when
the season began. There are increasing calls
to replace the coaching staff if not the entire
team and they are still wasting too many players
fighting the Brigadiers.
Unidas: An underdog at the beginning of
the season, this team - made up of players
from around the world - is an odds-on favorite
but has made little progress in Western Conference
play. They boycotted much of the early season
and are now trying to lay claim to the title
even before the playoffs have begun. Despite
this, they have the depth of experience and
talent to go the distance in this region if
they can get their act together. Don't count
them out, yet.
Not even considered a longshot in the IWF,
the "P'Nixs" as they are known locally,
made some headway during the year but need
to focus on improving their skills over the
long-term. Somehow, despite the lack of any
star players and an under budget operation,
this scrappy team keeps coming back year after
year. It will be interesting to see what impact
the will have on the final IWF outcomes and
what they will do next year.
Eastern Conference Teams
Babas: Wearing uniforms made of silk and
driving expensive humvees, the Ali Babas,
or thieves, went into the finals concerned
less with winning as with bringing in the
most cash. Several key players were former
members of the ChickenHawks and have garnered
the most lucrative contracts and endorsements
of either conference. They continue to throw
off the game of the more professional teams
but are "laughing all th' way to the
Jarrars (formerly the Baghdadis): This
is the people's favorite to win, and if this
was a volleyball game they just might. The
Average Jarrars have a lot of quirky talent
and the most heart of the entire conference.
Year after year they have faced tremendous
disappointment, but each time they get up
again and play with more energy than before.
Many of the players come from poor and middle-class
families but their focus is on steady play
and building a world-class organization over
This is the nastiest team in the IWF. They've
shown that they care less about the game then
about smacking everyone else. Heck, they don't
even show consideration for the fans and would
just as soon have a riot as play ball. The team
is led by a motly group of renegades and former
members of that defunct team, the Saddam Baathists.
Few see them as a strong contender for the title,
and most want them booted out of the league
altogether, but they are still a group to contend
This team hasn't seemed to have its mind in
the game, until recently.. While they talk
about how much they're concerned about winning,
they refuse to show up for practice and instead
spend most of their time in non-game related
activities. When they should be out on the
courts scrimmaging and honing their skills,
they are often found in the other teams' locker
rooms writing slogans on the wall. All of
their fasts and praying won't help them to
develop the skills needed to succeed.
for the finals match